Stop Giving Unwarranted Advice At The Gym
“You know nothing Jon Snow” The more I learn as a coach the more I realize I know less than I thought I did. If you are giving unwarranted advice at the gym you probably know less than you think you know.
While a harsh truth, the reality is people that know a lot about training are well aware of two things.
People are less likely to take your advice if it is unwarranted, meaning you are not doing it to help them. You are doing it for your own ego.
Advice is only properly applied given the context of a person's goals and preferences. If you do not know these things about the person the advice likely isn't helpful.
The gym is a sanctuary for many; a place to work on personal fitness goals, relieve stress, and build confidence. However, for some, this is disrupted by an all-too-common nuisance… unsolicited advice.
While the intention behind the advice may be positive, the reality is that it can create discomfort, discourage beginners, and undermine the sense of safety and autonomy that people seek in the gym.
Remember the gym is a place for everyone. The enemy is not getting people who are working out to workout more efficiently, it is getting people who are not working out to workout.
Those who seek to get better at the skills around working out will find it. Your unwarranted advice would probably eventually find the person if they wanted it and if they did not it could be the experience that makes them quit the gym. Do not be someone's reason to not workout.
Unwarranted Advice Can Be Demoralizing
Receiving unsolicited advice can make people feel judged, especially if it’s delivered in a condescending or critical manner.
Gym-goers, particularly beginners, may already feel self-conscious about their performance or technique. Pointing out perceived flaws, even under the guise of being helpful, can erode their confidence and leave them second-guessing their efforts.
Instead of feeling motivated, they may become reluctant to continue their fitness journey.
Ask yourself how it felt to be a beginner. The gym was a scary place at that time. A fist bump and smile goes a lot further than making someone feel embarrassed so you can feel good about yourself.
If someone is doing something legitimately dangerous like improperly using the equipment it's better to let gym staff know then intervene yourself.
Your Advice May Be Based on Incorrect Information
Early in my days as a personal trainer I thought I knew everything. I did not know everything. In fact the amount of things I told people that were wrong would make me cringe.
The answer to many questions is “it depends” and “what are your goals”. Ill give an example:
Should you bench with an arch? Benching both with an arch and without an arch are both correct and safe depending on the context.
If you are a bodybuilder, benching with a flat back or minimal arch to emphasize range of motion could be beneficial for muscle gain and completely safe. Despite this many old school powerlifters will say benching with an arch protects your shoulders where this isn't exactly true and is multifactorial with the consensus being as long as load is managed properly flat back benching is just as safe as benching with an arch.
On the opposite side of the spectrum you have people saying that “Arching is cheating” or “arching will hurt your back”. Neither of those things are true and arching is the number one way to increase the weight you can bench for competitive powerlifters.
Seeing the nuance behind just this topic I'm sure you could see how walking up to a complete stranger in the gym and telling them to arch more or not arch with zero idea about their goals is very stupid. (even if you kinda know their goals it's still probably not a good idea though)
Not all advice is good advice. Fitness is a complex field, and what works for one person may not work for another.
Unsolicited tips often come from individuals who lack formal training or a deep understanding of biomechanics and exercise science. Incorrect or overly generalized advice is a bad idea.
You are not that person's coach.
It Can Be Invasive
The gym is a public space, but that doesn’t mean people are inviting strangers into their personal routines.
Interrupting someone’s workout to offer advice is not only distracting but also an invasion of their personal space and time.
Many people go to the gym to focus and disconnect from outside stressors, not to engage in unsolicited conversations.
Remember even if you can spend as much time as you like at the gym not everyone can. Some people are on tight time budgets.
It Can Come Across as Patronizing or Condescending
Even with the best intentions, unsolicited advice can sound patronizing, particularly when it’s delivered to someone who is already knowledgeable or experienced.
Assuming someone needs guidance without being asked can create an awkward dynamic, diminishing mutual respect and creating unnecessary tension.
Mutual respect is very important when it comes to giving advice. Just because the advice is right does not mean the person will receive it from you.
You have to earn the right to give someone advice by earning their trust if you ever want them to take your advice.
It Undermines Gym Culture and Community
A welcoming gym environment fosters mutual respect, encouragement, and inclusivity. Unsolicited advice often does the opposite, breeding discomfort and self-doubt among members.
By refraining from offering advice unless explicitly asked, gym-goers can contribute to a positive atmosphere where everyone feels empowered to pursue their goals without fear of judgment.
It’s Simply Not Your Job
People hire trainers explicitly to cut through the noise of trying to figure out which information is important and not for them personally.
If you are not that person's trainer you are adding to the noise and making it harder for them to sort from the information.
The next time you’re tempted to share advice at the gym, pause and consider the impact your words may have.
A simple smile, nod, or word of encouragement can go much further in creating a supportive gym culture than an unsolicited critique.
By respecting others’ autonomy and trusting them to ask for help when they need it, you contribute to a space where everyone can thrive—on their own terms.
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